Argument ideas

Kind of amazed with people this morning.  There are so many ideas and opinions.  So many detailed and varied view points.  Things I've never thought of and probably would never think of.  Its pretty extraordinary when you think about it. 

Unfortunately all of these opinions often request that you make a side.  That you choose.  Do you think the world is flat, or don't you?  Either it is, or it isn't.  If you don't decide, we aren't going to bother with you.  

And then there's this underlying anger that comes from the person with the ideas, so many times.  But I suppose you can either be passionate about your ideas or not, angry or not.  I'm personally just not fond of the assumptions, anger and insinuations that come along with passionate ideas sometimes.  "If you don't agree, your an idiot!"  "There's no use talking to you, you wouldn't understand because your a ____".

I hope to be the kind of person who is willing to learn and be open.  Though the older I get the more and more I'm aware of my prejudices and judgments, though they morph into new things throughout the years.  I don't know what it looks like to be perfect.  I just hope to point in the right direction and keep my heart and mind open.

Gossip

I've been thinking about Gossip.  How utterly destructive it is.  It for sure can range from the mild, "were just talking about them" variety to a full out "can you believer her/him?  everyone hates her/him!" and on and on.  I suppose there are too things involved.  Why we do it and the consequences.

From what I can tell by the very little research I've glanced at.  Gossiping is all about social connection.  This  makes intuitive since to me.  I mean, two people bound together to put down someone else, unify's these two people.  It makes it a "them against us" situation and thus strengthens the "us".  Bonds become stronger through this agreement.  Through this act of raising themselves to a higher level of being than the person they are speaking of.  For sure, it is implied that if "she's such a bitch", then  we aren't.

And thus by gossiping, you are accomplishing a few things.  1)Teaming with the person or person's you are gossiping with.  2) Declaring that you are better than the person being discussed, at least based on the topic.  3) Declaring that the people you are gossiping with are also better than the person being gossiped about. 4) And therefore creating an atmosphere of negativity regarding that person. 5) And finally a deceleration of general disagreement with that person's behavior/attitude etc.

From what I could tell it seems that scientists these days say how gossip is natural and a part of human survival based on evolutionary principles.  For the sake of discussion, we can focus in our discussion on the very meanest of gossip.  Let's say that the person being gossiped about did in fact cheat on their boyfriend.  And the gossipers go to town.  "Did you hear bla bla bla, oh my! she's such a whore... Oh, I agree!  I mean, just look at the way she acts!" etc..  Based on evolutionary principles we may say that we are gossiping to spread the word that she sleeps around so that other's do not sleep with her and get an std or something.  But we are also affirming the things above.  1) That we are a team 2) That I am not a whore. 3) That you (whom I am gossiping with) are also not a whore. 4) That she is a "whorish" person, indicating all sorts of things that accompany this title.  5) And that we affirm that whoring is bad.

In general, the majority of these points are not all that bad.  As many a gossiper will tell you, there is good reason to start the talk.  But what I'm concerned with is the venom that grows and grows.  It becomes like an unquenchable fire.  The agreement builds and builds and the words become more vial and more general.  The next thing you know your not just affirming that the behavior is bad, but that the person in every conceivable way, is the embodiment of bad.  Never mind that this girl feels horrible about her bad decisions, she is shunned and hated as a vial creature from the depths of hell.  And then you have a group of haters, full of hate.  And if such gossip continues so does the hate that builds and magnifies.

The consequence?  Well, the haters are a more unified group in theory, but often find themselves distrustful of each other, especially if they are gossiping about someone they used to be friends with.  You can't help but wonder when you go home if they are also gossiping about you.  And often they are.  The gossipers often become addicted to gossip.  The buzz of excitement surrounding the gossip is so enticing that they find more and more things to gossip about.  People become more afraid to be honest with them, even there "close friends" are watching there words for fear of being gossiped about later.  Often these friendships based on gossip break up after learning of betrayal.

The damage to the person being gossiped about can be life changing and horrible.  People can loose jobs, friendships, partners etc.  People can become isolated to the point of self harm or suicide.  This is most apparent in the school setting.  Were gossip can turn and entire school against one person.  Leading to other forms of bullying such as hitting, stealing, degrading them thru social media etc.

Gossip often leads to the person being depressed and having low self esteem.  You may hear them say "everyone hates me" or other such language with gossip often being the culprit.  There are victims in every social group with consequences ranging from bad to deadly.

What can be done about this?  Well, we can vow to never gossip ourselves, that's something.  We can walk away when we hear gossip, showing a clear sign that we are not ok with it.  We can not repeat rumors.  We can think about the positive aspects of someone and speak on that.  You may think about God's love for them if you are religious.  We can spread the word.

If you liked this blog, feel free to share it with your friends and family.

Have a great day, Christen

Job Hunting

Oh, jobs jobs jobs.  Looking for a job is a tough thing.  You put so much effort into it that you start to feel your energy waning.  Things start to feel repetitive and hopeless after a while.

But besides all of that its kind of neat in a way.  Each job is like a path, a new road that you may travel down.  Each path will change your life.  Each path will shape who you will become, and will shape the opportunities that you will have in the future.  The fact that each job will shape the opportunities you have in the future is a fact that can not be overstated.

This is why people with degree's often do not go for positions at McDonald's, because they are aware of two things.  That you can get stuck in a position like this as the years wane on.  And that you will be judged on your level of worth based on that position, not only your qualifications.  Sure you can try and hide that face that you work there, but this is often something people find out in this age of multi-media.

What do I mean by judged?  Well here's and example.  Say you got your degree in engineering and you know that an entry level position in engineering will pay over 40,000 (I have no idea).  But you can't find a job, a real job, so you find yourself working as a delivery driver for pizza hut at minimum wage.  Sure, you keep looking but the time passes as you struggle to make end's meat.  Then finally after six months you feel that you have to tell them your current position on an application.  Or it will look like you haven't been doing anything since graduation.

Then in a few weeks your hired!  Great for you.  Except that this corporation knows that you "have been able to live on 7.50 an hour" (even if its not true) and then pat themselves on the back as they provide you with 35,000 a year instead of the 40,000 that would be more appropriate for your experience and education.

So that's a down side of looking for a job.  Its always this game to see what positions can I get that will open more doors down the road.  So, a retail job at Walmart will be a long long journey to move up even one step, with only a few lifetime steps available.  Where entering the field at a college appropriate entry level such as general hr or administrative assistant will provide immediately better pay, benefits and many more doors.

Every application and job post is a door to a future.  Some are brighter than others.  And looking for jobs is all about thinking into the future.  Well, at least mostly for someone with an education.  But that's exactly what having that degree or certification does for you.  Gives you more doors.  The more doors the better.